I few weeks ago I got a wedding dress! It all happened so quickly, I almost forgot to mention it. I thought since we're getting married in August, eight months was plenty of time, but somewhere along the way I caught wind of an urban-wedding rule of thumb which advises you leave something like 10 months for a wedding dress to be shipped to your door step*.
And so, a few snowy Saturdays ago, I found myself being caught up in a wedding haze of tool, awkward sales women and horrendous mermaid silhouettes while about 8 the closest women in my life tried their best to coax me on "the one" that would get me down the aisle. They did their job well because after about 15 dresses I was bouncing around in a circle of excitement on the little wooden platform of Kimberly's Bridal Boutique here in Ottawa.
But the current story takes place today, when in my mind, I started to forget what my wedding dress looked like. Sure I had a blurry picture on my cell phone to refer to, but I was suddenly self conscious that in retrospect it was too poofy - too "wedding" - too much like any other bride.
Before I went shopping, I had come to this understanding (after priming myself in the on-line world of wedding photography), that the most beautiful brides have an understated elegance. Do you know what I mean when I say this? I mean they could have messy "romantic" bed-hair and be wearing a white sheath (with no bra underneath of course) and they look heavenly. Enter the (innocent) JCrew model who are the epitome of the modern elegant bride. Those beautiful, supremely thin women, wearing those simple wedding dresses stared at me cruelly from the pages of the website as I doubted my choice this afternoon.
And I had even been faithfully coached by the voice of experience to stop looking at wedding dresses in magazines.
And isn't it just like the internet - like social media and our on-line lives in general, to make us question our decision making capabilities?
Like Facebook, like blogs, like Instagram, those perfectly posed, and photoshopped JCrew images of brides chipped away at my confidence. When we're vulnerable, the internet can reinforce any of the negative thoughts that casually float through our heads.
I'm sure it's going to happen a hundred times before August; questioning of all the thousands of little details that go into planning a big event like a wedding. Heck last week I had a nightmare the hair dresser just up and quit doing my hair on the day of the wedding so I had to do it myself. There are so many times that the internet can be good. But by that same token, there are so many times when it just makes sense to turn it off and remember how you made the decision in the first place. So of course I did the opposite and came here to write about it instead ;)
*I blame all the hyper-active brides who have come before me for the unnecessary, ghastly amounts of time you have to prep, order and prime wedding details.