In early January Mike and I were talking about last year and we decided to pick our "word" for 2014. He picked "commitment" (because of marriage and finding out we were expecting our first child) and I picked "adventure" (because marriage, child and also honeymoon). It was a fun experiment so we threw out a couple prediction words for 2015. Love and Joy were early contenders which make sense; I've already felt a lot of that in the past month and a bit since the new year started. But I've been feeling a lot of other things too. I've got less energy then I used to have, I have less time to myself, and I'm constantly thinking about what life will look like after our baby is born: Will I breastfeed? Will I sleep again? How will I loose weight? Will I find time to run? What sort of activities do I want to do with my baby? I'm a classic over-thinker, but it's hard not to consider this stuff when you're surrounded by it day in and day out, in books, on Facebook and social media, in conversations with friends and family. Is it just me or is the world of pregnancy and parenting the most prescriptive of all the different life seasons?
And so I've changed my current 2015 word to "Balance" - because I've found it's easy to get caught up in the rabbit hole that is parenting magazines and blogs and if I'm being honest with myself, my own tendency to over-plan every aspect of my life. I know that to some degree (probably a large degree), I will change for the better from the person I am now, to the person I will be after our baby is born. But - I still want to be me, and it's been easy to feel a bit stifled by "pregnancy stuff."
We were talking about what kind of stroller we'd like to buy the other day. I've always thought I'd like to run with my baby, so it would make sense to get a running stroller (And anyway, shouldn't I want to run with my baby?) And then it dawned on me. Running is my thing. In my regular life, it's when I find a small piece of sanity. How much am I going to want to preserve this after we have a baby? I'm sure there will be some days when it would be a joy to go for a run together.... but wouldn't it be good to maintain something that's just for me?
I really do believe the best is yet to come. But I want to be intentional and not over plan, and just relax a little bit. My life goes by way too quickly when all that other noise crowds my thoughts and decisions.
So, balance! Also, love and joy.
And today: FRIDAY! Because it's almost the weekend!